Lifestyle Training Constants
In the lifestyle, one can be taught in so many different ways. There’s an unlimited number of variables in learning what to do and how to do it, but fortunately, there are always a few constants we can rely on. I was given, and have always held on to, a few precious constants of my own. Details below:
- For each and every person you serve, in whatever capacity, you have to be trained. No two (dominant) people being alike, each will have unique requirements, wishes, desires, likes, turn ons and expectations. One should enter into any new dynamic as a trainable & teachable element.
- Training within one’s dynamic lasts forever, or at least for as long as one is in said dynamic. As people, particularly the dominant figure, grow and learn and change, so may their requirements of those who serve them. Reevaluation and adjustments should be considered a normal part of lifestyle involvement.
- Training within the lifestyle lasts forever, or at least it should. The day an s-type believes they have reached perfect submission is the day their value decreases. In contrast, the day a d-type believes they have mastered the lifestyle is the day they potentially become dangerous.
- Training should elicit a sense of pride that one is being better prepared to serve. Just as much, a dominant’s quest for learning and improved leadership is to be commended.
Specifics I Learned (and have tested!):
- Eye restrictions are normal
This can be tricky at times, as sometimes eye contact is just as normal and even necessary. On a meet-and-greet at a public location, I may look into someone’s eyes from moment one and continue to do so throughout our meeting. In a more private setting, I may make very little, if any, eye contact. It truly will depend on the circumstances and even the person. In any regard, I always assume restrictions are expected within reason.
- Hands to the side while standing
I often find myself moving my hands from position to position to suit my comfort, but hands belong to the side. Hands in front hides the privates from his view, and hands in back makes for obstacles to his touch (and vice versa).
- Legs are crossed at the ankles and not the knees
I have such a hard time with this because I always want to cross my legs at the knees, and do often (when alone or away from my owner). This general rule is similar to the “hands to the side” rule above. The idea is to avoid tightly closing one’s private area off thereby reducing accessibility.
- Furniture privileges
There are none by default. One isn’t automatically granted the same rights as a dominant and should not assume that sitting on the same level is appropriate. This applies to sofas, chairs and beds.
- First bite
Another general rule I have a bit of trouble with, because when I’m hungry, I’m hungry now! But the dominant gets the first bite at mealtime. If one’s food goes cold while waiting on the dominant to begin eating, be grateful for microwaves.
- Walk in the corner
When walking with one’s owner, the proper position is about a half step back and about a half step to the side. This can be considered a diagonal or corner position. The pace should be set by the one in control.
Please note: Any and all of these can and should be adjusted by one’s dominant, but perhaps this can be a good place to start. Also, as usual, these are not hard and fast rules, but more of a guideline. They cannot be applied to all dynamics and all situations.